Monday 28 January 2013

Virtues of Surat Al-Baqarah


A Beautiful Recitation of Surah AlBaqarah


A Blessing

Learn Surat Al-Baqarah, because in learning it there is blessing, in ignoring it there is sorrow, and the sorceresses cannot memorize it.


An Intercessor


He kept silent for a while and then said, Learn Surat Al-Baqarah and Al `Imran because they are two lights and they shade their people on the Day of Resurrection, just as two clouds, two spaces of shade or two lines of (flying) birds. The Qur'an will meet its companion in the shape of a pale-faced man on the Day of Resurrection when his grave is opened. The Qur'an will ask him, 'Do you know me' The man will say, 'I do not know you.' 


Honor and Prestige

The Qur'an will say, 'I am your companion, the Qur'an, which has brought you thirst during the heat and made you stay up during the night. Every merchant has his certain trade. But, this Day, you are behind all types of trade.' Kingship will then be given to him in his right hand, eternal life in his left hand and the crown of grace will be placed on his head. His parents will also be granted two garments that the people of this life could never afford. They will say, 'Why were we granted these garments' It will be said, 'Because your son was carrying the Qur'an.' It will be said (to the reader of the Qur'an), 'Read and ascend through the levels of Paradise.' He will go on ascending as long as he recites, whether reciting slowly or quickly.)''

Thursday 24 January 2013

The Best of People


The  Best

It was narrated that Sa’eed ibn Jubayr said: Ibn ‘Abbaas said to me: “Have you gotten married?”  

I said: “No.” 

He said: “Get married, for the best of this ummah are the ones with the most wives.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5069)





Its Sunnah

"Marriage is my sunnah. Whoever keeps away from it is not from me."

Do not fear the people

"‘But you did hide in yourself that which Allah 

will make manifest, you did fear the people 

whereas Allah had a better right that you 

should fear Him’. "




  Get Married

Allah will grant ease after hardship



"Let the wealthy man spend according to his means; and let 

the man whose provisions are restricted spend according to 

what Allah has given him. Allah does not burden a soul 

beyond what He has given it, and Allah will grant ease after a 

hardship. " (Al-Talaq65:7)

The Remembrance of Allah


63:9




"O you who have believed, let not your wealth and your children divert you from remembrance of Allah . And whoever does that - then those are the losers." (63:9)

Our Need for Guidance: In Qur'an


Qur'an

It is a reminder. Allah reminds us of what we find the most difficult to remember like having Taqwa of Allah.

We must read Qur'an.


Friday 18 January 2013

The Surah of Wealth

Surat Al-Waaqi'ah



The Virtue of Surah al Waqi'ah (56)


The Prophet said, ‘Whoever recites surah al Waqiah at night would never encounter poverty’ [Ibn Sunni 620]

 The Prophet said, ‘Surah al Waqiah is the Surah of Wealth, so recite it and teach it to your children’[Ibn Asakir]



What happens when you read it in times of need after Isha


1) You may find that your needs are taken care of even before your done reading it 

2) You are offered a Job opportunity 

3) Allah puts people in your service so that your needs are satisfied 

4) Or you are given gifts you do not expect

And so much more


The Best time to read Al Waaqi'ah


After Isha

What kind of wealth do you get?

Reading this surah at night not only gives yo financial wealth, but also the wealth of knowledge and contentment. You get all types of wealth.










Harvard University holds Qur'an verse as "Great Expression of Justice"


Surat An-Nisaa

Surat An-Nisaa


At the main entrance to Harvard Law School, a text from a verse in the Koran Chapter "The Women" was placed, presenting it as one of the greatest examples of justice in history.



nisaa


A Harvard student, a native of Saudi Arabia, Abdullah Jumma, the text at the entrance and posted it on his Twitter page. This was reported by a Saudi paper Ajel in Arabic



The Verse Reads

"O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort justice or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do."
(The Holy Quran, Chapter 4. "The Women", verse 135).



Harvard University



harvard

Monday 14 January 2013

Sadaqah

The Virtue of Sadaqah


'Adi bin Hatim (ra) reported, Messenger of Allah (saw) said, "Protect yourselves from Hell-Fire even by giving a piece of date as charity." (Bukhari)







Thursday 10 January 2013

Benefits of reciting Qur'an





Shine for the Inhabitants in Heaven

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: Brighten your homes with reciting Quran; do not turn them into graves like Jews or Christian who only pray in synagogue or church. Surely the house in which a lot of recitation takes place enjoys many blessings and the members benefit from it. Such a household shines for the inhabitants of Heaven as stars shine to the inhabitants of the earth. 


The Key to Success

The holy prophet (PBUH) says: ''If you desire the life of the fortunate, the death of a martyr, the salvation on the Day of Regret and the shade on the Day of Extreme Heat, then you should study the Quran because it is the word of the Merciful, a sanctuary from Satan and a causes the tilting of the Balance.''


The Polisher of hearts

The holy Prophet (PBUH) says: Indeed hearts rust in the same way irons rust. He was asked: "What will polish the hearts?" The Prophet answered: Reading the Quran."






The Best of action

The holy Prophet (PBUH) says: ''the best works of my ummah is reciting Quran''


Benefits of Reading Qur'an


There are so many benefits for reciting Holy Qur'an both here and in hereafter such as

1)  purity of heart, the maturity of faith,
2) the decrees in sins' punishment, 
3) to be rewarded as angels and prophets,
4) the companionship of angels; 
5) to reach higher level of perfection and heaven, 
6) the treatment of mental illnesses, 
7) the removal of sorrows, 
8) the improvement in sight,  
9) the increase in your life blessings, 
10) the acceptance of your praying,
11) The Pleasure of Allah






Read to be raised to honor


 Messenger of Allah said  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ): “Verily Allaah raises some peple by this Book and lowers others by it"






Reward

Prophet (PBUH) has said: ''who recites Quran to achieve God's satisfaction and understanding the religion would be rewarded like angels and prophets''

Kazem Ibn Musa (AS) says: ''The heaven is graded according to verses of Quran, it is said to reciter of Quran: Recite and Go up! Then he recites Quran and his levels go up.''

Allah says says:

 اِنَّ الَّذينَ يَتلونَ كِتـبَ اللّهِ واَقاموا الصَّلوةَ واَنفَقوا مِمّا رَزَقنـهُم سِرًّا وعَلانِيَةً يَرجونَ تِجـرَةً لَن تَبور  لِيُوَفِّيَهُم اُجُورَهُم ويَزيدَهُم مِن فَضلِهِ اِنَّهُ غَفورٌ شَكور

"Surely they who recite the Book of Allah and keep up prayer and spend out of what we have given them secretly and openly, hope for a gain which will not perish." 



Wednesday 9 January 2013

Secret Gospel rejects Holy Trinity and Crucifixion of Jesus and mentions the coming of the Prophet





Secret 14-million Gospel: Discovered in Turkey




    • Vatican 'wants to see' 1,500-year-old ancient script
    • Has been hidden by Turkish state for 12 years
    • Handwritten in gold-lettered Aramaic

    Secret Bible: The 1,500-year-old tome was is said to contain Jesus' early teachings and a prediction of the Prophet's coming

    The ancient leather-bound text, written on animal hide, was discovered by Turkish police during an anti-smuggling operation in 2000.
    It was closely guarded until 2010, when it was finally handed over to the Ankara Ethnography Museum, and will soon be put back on public display following a minor restoration.


    The £14million handwritten gold lettered tome, penned in Jesus' native Aramaic language, is said to contain his early teachings and a prophecy of the Prophet's coming. 

    The Coming of Prophet Muhammad

    The Qur'an confirms this message:

    "And when Jesus son of Mary said: O children of Israel! surely I am the apostle of Allah to you, verifying that which is before me of the Torah and giving the good news of an Prophet who will come after me, his name being Amad (the one worthy of praise). 
    (Q 61:6)

    The name ahmad in the Gospel refers to Prophet Muhammad because Muhammad is the one who is praised and worthy of it.

    In one version of the gospel, he is said to have told a priest: 'How shall the Messiah be called? Muhammad is his blessed name'






    Ancient: The leather-bound text, written on animal hide, was discovered by Turkish police during an anti-smuggling operation in 2000


    A photocopy of a single page from the handwritten ancient manuscript is thought to be worth £1.5million.


    They hid the Truth

    Turkish culture and tourism minister Ertugrul Gunay said the book could be an authentic version of the Gospel, which was suppressed by the Christian Church for its strong parallels with the Islamic view of Jesus.

    He also said the Vatican had made an official request to see the scripture - a controversial text which Muslims claim is an addition to the original gospels of Mark, Matthew, Luke and John.

    In line with Islamic belief, the Gospel protrays Jesus as a human being and not a son of God.

    It rejects the ideas of the Holy Trinity and the Crucifixion and reveals that Jesus predicted the coming of the Prophet Muhammad.



    Allah was the one who revealed the Gospel:

    In the Qur'an, Allah says, "Allah - there is no 

    deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the 

    Sustainer of existence. He has sent down 

    upon you, [O Muhammad], the Book in 

    truth, confirming what was before it. And He

     revealed the Torah and the Gospel." (Q2:2-3)





    See more in video footage:




    Tuesday 8 January 2013

    A Study on the Effects of Reading Qur'an

    A Scientific Study


    The present study consisted of two studies which investigated the effects of reading the Holy Qur’an on Muslim psychology students’ blood pressure, heart rate and perceived stress levels. Perceived stress level is the degree to which situations in a person’s life are appraised as stressful.

    In the first study participants’ took part in an experiment which was divided into two conditions. In one condition participants’ heart rate, blood pressure and perceived stress levels were measured before and after reading Surah Alam Nashrah and Surah Al Rahman from the Holy Qur’an. In the other condition participants heart rate, blood pressure, and perceived stress levels were measured before and after reading a non-religious material which was written in Arabic. The order of taking part in the two conditions was counter balanced. So half of the participants read took part in the non-religious material condition first and then the Surah condition. And the other half took part in the Surah condition first and then the non-religious material condition.


    It was found that participants’ heart rate, blood pressure, (systolic and diastolic) and perceived stress levels decreased after reading Surah Alam Nashrah Surah Al Rahman from the Holy Qur’an. In contrast no significant effects were seen from reading the non-religious Arabic material.


    Second study: In the second study the researcher conducted semi-structured interviews to study participants’ subjective experience of reading the Qur’an. 10 Muslim psychology undergraduates were interviewed. A content analysis conducted on participants’ responses to questions found that the most mentioned benefit of reading the Qur’an was that it educates and guides the reader to living a good life. It reminds the reader of their faith and it relaxes them.

    The researcher concluded that recitation of the Holy Qur’an appears to be psychologically and physiologically beneficial. It appears to reduce the readers perceived stress levels, heart rate and blood pressure. This effect cannot be found with the recitation of a non-religious material that is written in the same language as the Holy Qur’an.



    Reference

    Abdullah, R., 2009. The Effects of Reading the Holy Qur’an on 


    Muslim Students’ Heart rate, Blood Pressure and Perceived Stress 

    Levels. Dissertation Abstract: University of Salford.

    Monday 7 January 2013

    Qur'anic Revelation: Adam was a black man




    Surat Hijr

    Allah mentions the creation of adam in the Qur'an, "Verily We created man of potter's clay of black mud altered." (Q15:26)


    And [mention, O Muhammad], when your Lord said to the angels, "I will create a human being out of clay from an altered black mud. (Q15:28)



    Allah has revealed in the Qur’aan that Adam (the first, original man on earth) was created out of BLACK MUD, which scientists have already confirmed:


    The Arabic word in this verse that means BLACK is HAMAA:

    Examine for yourself from the Best Hadith, Al Qur'an Alone the evidence. Below is the Arabic break down of this verse, word for word:







    The Transliteration in the Quran



    Qur’aan 15:28

    Allah says, "And (recall the time) when your Lord said to the angels, ‘I am, indeed going to create a human being from dry ringing clay (formed) from black mud, moulded into shape." 

    Translated by Amatul Rahman Omar & Abdul Mannan Omar

    Qur’aan 15:28

    Allah says, "And when your Lord said to the angels: Surely I am going to create a mortal of the essence of black mud fashioned in shape."

    Translated by M.H. Shakirn

    Qur’aan 15:28

    Allah says,

    "And when thy Lord said to the angels: I am going to create a mortal of sounding clay, of black mud fashioned into shape."

    Translated by Maulana Muhammad Ali

    Qur’aan 15:28

    Allah says, " And  (remember) when your Rabb said to the angels: “I am about to create a man from sounding clay, black mud moulded into shape;" Translated by Muhammad Farooq-i-Azam Malik

    Qur’aan 15:28

    Allah says, "And remember when thy Lord said to the angels, “I am about to create man of dry ringing clay, of black mud wrought into shape" Translated by Malik Ghulam Farid

    Qur’aan 15:28

    Allah says "And (remember) when thy Lord said unto the angels: Lo! I am creating a mortal out of potter's clay of black  mud altered," Translated by Marmaduke Pickthall

    Qur’aan 15:28

    Allah says, "And remember when thy Lord said to the angels, I am about to create man of dry wringing clay, of black mud wrought into shape:" Translated by Sher Ali






    The name Adam

    Also the name Adam means someone very black in arabic.  People confuse it with meaning red. 


    The difference between Edom (Ee-dum) and Adam (Ahh-dahhm).

    Both words have the color red in their basic meaning but while Edom means "ruddy red" 
    Adam means "dark red".
    What's another name for "dark red" class?
    That's right: brown
    And the word Adam was used interchangebly among the Hebrews and not only meant "brown" but also "earth/soil" the substance in which Adam was made from.
    And in Arabic the word "Ahh-dahhm" means BLACK...not red.



    Facts about the noble Book, the Quran






    1)The Quran, the word of Allah has been revealed to the messenger of Allah, in the year 570 in Mecca. Prophet Muhammad saw did not know how to read or write.


    2)  The Original Copy of the Noble Qur'an is preserved in Lawhum Mahfuuth, which is the gaurded tablet, so sacred that only those who are purified can touch it.  (Q56:79)
    The Lawhim Mahfuuth is the tablet that contains Allah's eternal plan and Will, with all the decrees. (Q13:39)

    3) The Qur'an is the only book free of error. It challenges its reader to find any flaws. (Q4:82)

    4) The Qur'an is the book where the dead are made to speak (Q13:31)

    5) The Qur'an is the a cure of mankind, a remedy for the sickness of the minds and body. (Q 10:31)

      a) A verse in the Quran tells us, "There issues from within the bodies of the bee a drink of varying colors wherein is healing for mankind. (an-Nahl, Ch.16 verse 69) This verse was revealed more than a thousand years ago and recently we just found out that:

    "Medicinal honey kills the bacteria that cause infections in wounds, such as the antibiotic-resistant MRSA. This has been ascertained by tests by Amsterdam and Wageningen researchers.


    Who was it then, that revealed this knowledge to prophet Muhammad saw, more than 1400 yaers ago?

    Sunday 6 January 2013

    “When people accumulate gold and silver, you should..



      It was narrated by Ahmad that the Prophet (Peace Be upon Him):

    “When people accumulate gold and silver, you should accumulate

    these words:

    ‘Allaahumma inni as’aluka al-thabaat fi’l-amr,


    wa ‘azeemata ala a-rushd, wa as’aluka shukra ni’matika,


    wa husna ‘ibaadatika, wa as’aluka qalban saleeman,


    wa as’aluka lisaanan saadiqan, wa as’aluka min khairi ma ta’lam,


    wa A’oodhu bika min sharri ma ta’lam,


    Wa astaghfiruka mimma ta’lam, innaka anta ‘allam ul-ghuyoob.”


    “O Allah, I ask You for steadfastness in this matter, and I ask You for

    the resolve toadhere to the path of guidance (i.e., to adhere to all
    matters that lead to what which is right and proper), and I ask You to
    thank Your blessing, and to worship You properly (i.e., so that I may
    perform all acts of worship in a manner that is pleasing to You), and I
    ask You for a sound heart, and I ask You for a truthful tongue, and I
    ask You from the goodness of what You know, and I seek refuge with
    You from the evil of what You know, and I ask You for forgiveness for
    that which You know; You are the knower of the Unseen.”
    sahih Albaani

    Knowledge is protection from Shaytan

    How to defeat shaytan and protect oneself from Shaitan

    -------------------------------------


    The final safe Haven: A fortified fortress of knowledge 

    -------------------------------------------------------







    The Messenger of Allah said , “One faqih (an expert in Islamic jurisprudence) is stronger against Shaitan than a thousand aabid(worshipers). Knowledge should be important for the believers in all aspects of life However the importance of knowledge in opposing Shaitan can be well illustrated in the following story Related by Ibn Abass:

    ‘The shaitans say to Iblis, “Master we delight in the death of a man of knowledge more than we rejoice in that of a man of worship. We are harmed by the man of Knowledge, but not harmed by the man of worship.” ‘Iblis says,“come on, let’s go.”So of they go to a man of worship and tell him they want to ask him a question. Iblis says, “Can your Lord put the world inside an egg?” “The worshipper replies, “I don’t know.”

    ‘Iblis says to shaitans, “ don’t you see there is disbelief in his answer? ‘Then they go to a man of knowledge, who is joking in his circle of companions and say, “We want to ask you a question.”’He says, “Ask.”Iblis says to him, “ can your Lord put the world inside an egg?” ‘He says, “Yes.” ‘Iblis asks “How?” ‘The man of knowledge says, “His command when he desires a thing is that He says to it, ‘BE!’AND IT IS.” (Quran36:82) 






    Iblis says to the shaitans, “Don’t you see that the worshiper has no effect beyond himself while this man of knowledge estranges much of the world from me?”’






    How to get your husband's love


    How to earn your husband's love:




    Trust HIM

    compliment him, lots

    Always be pleased with what Allah has given you

    Speak in a sweet way to him.

    Don't treat him like he's in prison give him space.

    Dont ask questions like

    where did you go?

    when  be coming back?

    Who did you speak to?

    Are you sure?

    Try to adjust your life to his.

    Please sisters, dont compete to be the man. Let him be the man.

    Dont yell and scream. Its not a feminine trait.

    Dress up,

    Respond to his sexual needs.

    Food, you cant forget the food

    Try not to talk so much, give him what he wants, then let him do his own thing


    What makes him miserable?


     disrespect and waste of the money.

    Dressing up for others and not him.

    Not Spending on him

    mentioning MEN in front of him.

     disobedience

    The Veil



    Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

    The hijaab prescribed in sharee’ah means that a woman should cover everything that it is haraam for her to show, i.e., she should cover that which it is obligatory for her to cover, first and foremost of which is the face, because it is the focus of temptation and desire.


    A woman is obliged to cover her face in front of anyone who is not her mahram (blood relative to whom marriage is forbidden). From this we learn that the face is the most essential thing to be covered. There is evidence from the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the views of the Sahaabah and the imams and scholars of Islam, which indicates that women are obliged to cover all of their bodies in front of those who are not their mahrams.


    [Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 1/ 391, 392]

    When he looks at you, what's really going on?




    The real scientific matter is that, to look at an attractive female is harmful to men’s health. Looking at a beautiful women increases Stress hormones such as cortisol, GH and norepinephrine are released dangerously high levels.

    The spanish researchers has found, when men meet with a stranger accompanied by a pretty woman.Then the men view the stranger as their competitor. In this regard, the risks are very high. The cortisol levels rise so high that the possibility of strokes and heart attacks are increased.


    Researchers of the University of Valencia took 84 male students for the sake of study. They asked each one to sit in a room and solve a Sudoku puzzle. Two female and two male were in the room.


    The two men were sitting together and the two female left the room. When the two female left the room, the volunteer men’s levels of the stress hormone that is cortisol did not increase. But, when a male volunteer was left alone with a female volunteer, the male’s hormone levels rose, as compared by a storm.


    Sometimes, the levels of hormone increases so high, the researchers measured those people experienced with when one person jumps out of an airplane. The researchers say that “for most men, the presence of an attractive woman may induce the perception that there is an opportunity for courtship.”


    The researchers also described, “This study showed that male cortisol levels increased after exposure to a five-minute, short social contact with a young attractive woman. It provides evidence that interpersonal interaction can influence the secretion of cortisol,”


    Irvin Wolkoff ‘Toronto-based psychiatrist’ has said “Adrenaline can give you high blood pressure, coronary artery disease, etc. Cortisol impairs the immune system. So if you maintain elevated levels of cortisol long enough, you will develop infections, and you might even develop malignancies,”


    He has also said “It’s not good to be over-stressed for too long. So you need to get out of that room with the beautiful woman pretty quickly,”


    Advice: the fact that your a woman is already Attractive for a man. Pounding on the makeup doesnt make a difference trust me. So please. Sister. Cover yourself more and lay of the makeup. We have the power to effect men. and you looking so ATTRACTIVE makes things much much worse. Please have mercy on those brothers.

    The Saleh Wife


    A story of a girl who was given advise on how to be a righteous wife

    One of the most famous and most beautiful of these texts was recorded by ‘Abd al-Malik ibn ‘Umayr al-Qurashi, who was one of the outstanding scholars of the second century AH. He quotes the words of advice given by Umamah bint al-Harith, one of the most eloquent and learned women, who was possessed of wisdom and great maturity, to her daughter on the eve of her marriage. These beautiful words deserve to be inscribed in golden ink.

    ‘Abd al-Malik said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother Umamah came in to her, to advise her, and said:


    ‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you possess these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.


    ‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.


    ‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

    ‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

    ‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.


    ‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.


    ‘The fifth and the sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.


    ‘The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.


    ‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.


    ‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment, whilst the latter will make him unhappy.


    ‘Show him as much honor and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.


    ‘Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) choose what is best for you and protect you.’”

    Understanding Men and Women


    Here are some mistakes women and men make in conversations:


    A woman follows her natural tendency to offer unsolicited advice, but the man sees it as questioning his competence and ability.

    A man follows his natural tendency to offer solutions, but the woman sees it as invalidating her feelings.
    Women cope with stress by reaching out and talking while men cope with stress by withdrawing.
    Women want to feel cherished; men want to feel needed.
    Women want respect and devotion; men want appreciation and admiration.


    Here are some other differences between them:


    Women are relationship oriented while men are goal oriented.
    Men see conversations as negotiations for power; women see them as negotiations for closeness.
    Men want to preserve independence; women want to preserve intimacy.
    Men seek to win and avoid failure; women seek closeness and avoid isolation.
    Men avoid taking orders (since that means low status and loss of independence); women are ok with taking orders (if it is perceived as forming a connection).
    Men seek control; women seek understanding.
    Men prefer inequality and asymmetry; women prefer equality and symmetry.
    Men are adversarial (with conflicting goals); women are synergetic (with common goals).